Let Them, Let Me, Let It Be...

I've been hearing a lot about the book Let Them by Mel Robbins, which I understand followed a podcast series. Both colleagues and clients have mentioned it and in full disclosure, all of them women. When I asked what the fuss was about, the explanation usually went something like: "Let Them means not stressing about what other people do; just ‘let them’ chart their own course (even if it’s straight into a ditch) and stop trying to fix it." Hmm. Noted.

Also in full transparency: I haven’t read the book yet. It currently sits in the towering, slightly judgmental, pile of books on my nightstand, patiently waiting for the end of the semester. So, taking a page from my more resourceful students, I asked ChatGPT for a quick summary (possible inspiration for next month’s blog post?).

Here’s part of what it said:

"In Let Them, Mel Robbins explores the liberating mindset shift of allowing others to be who they are, make their own choices, and show their true colors—without you trying to change, convince, or control them."

This idea recently hit home for me. Twice in the last week, I experienced what I can only describe as being treated differently in a professional context—differently than I believe others would have been treated in the same situation. And in my view, the only reason for that was that I wasn’t part of their pre-formed cohort, making me an easy target for their frustration. Because, never hit your own team member.

Loose specifics are that in response to me drafting a report I was hired to complete, another consultant went directly to the client, portrayed me as a source of "aggression," in collecting information and then declined to complete a portion of the study at hand. Instead, they passed the task to me, something like a flaming baton in a relay race I didn’t sign up for?

Emotionally? I was seeing red. Like, "less yoga, and more boxing" red.

Also, a little sad. Why is this even necessary?

Naturally, I spiraled a bit. Should I create a robust PowerPoint presentation for the client proving how well I’ve done my job? Should I confront the consultant? Should I cry to my friends over wine? (Absolutely.)

And that’s when it hit me: Let Them.

I can’t control if someone wants to act like a kindergartener during naptime. I can’t stop the gossip, the blame-shifting, or the feeling that someone thinks someone else should be doing my job. I have to Let Them.

But I also had to Let Me.

Let me ask: Was there anything I could’ve done differently? Yes. There were a few proactive steps I leaned too heavily on others to take. In hindsight, I should have insisted on formal documentation to prevent confusion. I’ll own that slice of the accountability pie.

But was I deserving of the treatment I received? Nope. Not even close.

So, I’m going to Let Me be mad for a day. Then, I’ll lift my chin, head to the job site, and keep doing what I do—well.

Because in this world, that’s really all any of us can do. So keep doing you, doing it well… and Let Them.